Beta Documents Looking for Readers

• A Secret Mermaid - Daughter of the Gods

  Primary Genre: Fantasy Word Count: 37,214 Beta Readers: 1

  I would love any type of criticism, praise, notes, critiques, etc. I would love to know which characters you like, which lines you like, and which you don't, and which your not sure of. Tell me if you think I should cut a part out, etc.

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• Sairon: The Fake DNA's Loving Soul

  Primary Genre: Fantasy Word Count: 75,000 Beta Readers: 1

  Chained by History and DNA

  In a sci-fi fantasy planet called Ns, the Myloseans, the ruling race, subjugate the slave class, the Adhirans. A princess, named Nadine, wishes to be queen because she believes that is what she is destined to do as part of her family, the Cyrils. However;...

  Chained by History and DNA

  In a sci-fi fantasy planet called Ns, the Myloseans, the ruling race, subjugate the slave class, the Adhirans. A princess, named Nadine, wishes to be queen because she believes that is what she is destined to do as part of her family, the Cyrils. However; she is not that bright and hasn't unlocked her powers yet, which most people would have unlocked by her age. Shunned by her family, she wishes to join the military to unlock her powers.

  Meanwhile an organization called to Elakiar hopes to exterminate the Myloseans in order for the Adhirans to be free. And other characters with hidden motives stand in her way. Will the chains tighten around Nadine? Will she break free? Or maybe something else entirely?

  Contains:
  Violence
  Gore
  Rape
  Sexual Assault
  Implied Sex

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• SBD 1

  Primary Genre: Fantasy Word Count: 25,400 Beta Readers: 0

  While being pursued by a group of vigilantes, Ikai runs into a shimmering light that takes him 300 years into the past. As he navigates the fantastic, ancient world of history that he only ever read about in books, Ikai discovers things about himself that he didn't know was possible....

  While being pursued by a group of vigilantes, Ikai runs into a shimmering light that takes him 300 years into the past. As he navigates the fantastic, ancient world of history that he only ever read about in books, Ikai discovers things about himself that he didn't know was possible.

  Usehjiki of the past and Usehjiki of the future have their lines crossed, with Ikai at the intersection. With the help of new, found allies, Ikai will race against prophecies to untangle the mysteries of Usehjiki and reveal the bits of its history that have been lost to the hands of time.

  ___

  I won't mind any type of comments that you can offer about plot, characterization and world-building.

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• Fighting The Undead

  Primary Genre: Realistic fiction Word Count: 38,338 Beta Readers: 0

  When 16 year old, James Andrews, wakes up alone and in a zombie apocalypse, he is kidnapped and reunited with his family. Only problem? They were being held captive by an evil gang. They end up running into more dangers as the book developes.

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• We Were Born of Spellfire

  Primary Genre: Fantasy Word Count: 90,000 Beta Readers: 5

  Two sisters have hidden in a northern Norwegian birch forest, far away from witch hunters, until they became women. Now that their grandmother is gone, one sister puts a curse on the village that burned her mother and forced them to run while the other sister leaves to start a...

  Two sisters have hidden in a northern Norwegian birch forest, far away from witch hunters, until they became women. Now that their grandmother is gone, one sister puts a curse on the village that burned her mother and forced them to run while the other sister leaves to start a new life without magic. But they both must find a way to survive or else face a destiny that always seems to find witches, wicked or not.

  I'm looking for feedback on:
  1. the overall story - do you want to keep reading? is there anything that's boring or confusing or doesn't work plot-wise?
  2. the characters - do you connect with them, like them, hate them, feel enough either way about them?
  3. the language - how do you like the style? does it draw you in, make you cringe? are there moments that you think there should be more action and less reflection or more reflection and less action?

  But also, whatever (constructive) feedback you want to give is much appreciated!

  Thanks! :)

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• The Undercover Mysteries: Book 1 Payback

  Primary Genre: Mystery Word Count: 17,320 Beta Readers: 0

  Alexa Tilt is an FBI agent who has a horrific past and secret, while in group therapy she tells the story of how her secret made her a target of a serial killer and survived two years before. In the present day a new serial killer emerges who is targeting...

  Alexa Tilt is an FBI agent who has a horrific past and secret, while in group therapy she tells the story of how her secret made her a target of a serial killer and survived two years before. In the present day a new serial killer emerges who is targeting a high school which Alexa goes undercover at can she overcome her past and keep her secret from reservicing to catch this new threat in time...

  Haven't finished the book yet but this is the 1st 9 chapters that I have done.

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• Evershine Rising Sun

  Primary Genre: Fantasy Word Count: 94,000 Beta Readers: 2

  The purpose of these edits is to make sure Evershine Rising Sun reads like a cohesive story in its entirety. I would very much like notes on any plot holes, characterization issues within the story, incohesive writing, etc. Notes on grammatical errors are also appreciated. Thank you for your assistance...

  The purpose of these edits is to make sure Evershine Rising Sun reads like a cohesive story in its entirety. I would very much like notes on any plot holes, characterization issues within the story, incohesive writing, etc. Notes on grammatical errors are also appreciated. Thank you for your assistance on this project, it is greatly appreciated.

  Grant, a fifteen-year-old African American plagued by dreams of unfamiliar forests and strange warriors, must journey to another world to save the life of his friend after a horrible accident.

  Having no knowledge of his family and struggling to find the purpose of his life Grant decides to spend the first day of his summer vacation outside with his long-time friend. However, when a Great Horned Owl shapeshifts into a misshapen monster and sinks its claws into his friend, he is forced to trust an otherworldly stranger and journey to a mirror-world earth.
  Now on this NeoEarth, Grant finds himself thrown headfirst into the matters of cosmic energy-bending warriors and their leader Redpine as they battle against grotesque invaders threatening the natural balance. As he learns his true family heritage, he is forced to question not only his own identity and purpose in the universe but also the true nature and of the warriors he's chosen to trust. Lost clans, kidnapped children, and an entire ecosystem hangs in the balance as Grant learns to fight the sin of envy and adhere to the laws of equivalent exchange.

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• First Time Travel

  Primary Genre: Historical fiction Word Count: 8,400 Beta Readers: 2

  It's an important chapter in the middle of the novel, which I get the feeling may be developed more.

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• Midnight Manor

  Primary Genre: Humor Word Count: 11,000 Beta Readers: 1

  Eden and her friends attend an exclusive party at the mysterious Midnight Manor, only to find themselves caught up in a survival game. Full of references to creepypastas and other pop culture, it is up to the youtubers to make their way through each puzzle alive.

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• FMN

  Primary Genre: Other fiction Word Count: 60,000 Beta Readers: 1

  Looking for a sensitivity check. Especially on the sexuality parts

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