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Beta Documents Looking for Readers
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Ava
Primary Genre: Suspense/thriller Word Count: 9,000 Beta Readers: 0Bonjour !
J’ai écrit un court thriller psychologique autour de la relation entre Ava et Lily, deux jeunes filles dont le lien devient progressivement malsain et destructeur.
Je cherche des retours honnêtes sur :
- la tension psychologique,
- le rythme,
- la cohérence du récit,
- la crédibilité émotionnelle...See full descriptionBonjour !
J’ai écrit un court thriller psychologique autour de la relation entre Ava et Lily, deux jeunes filles dont le lien devient progressivement malsain et destructeur.
Je cherche des retours honnêtes sur :
- la tension psychologique,
- le rythme,
- la cohérence du récit,
- la crédibilité émotionnelle des personnages.Je partage ici un extrait. Si l’histoire vous intrigue et que vous souhaitez lire davantage, je pourrai envoyer le manuscrit complet en accès privé.
C’est la première histoire que je termine (youpi !), donc tous les retours constructifs m’intéressent énormément.
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Gods and Monsters: Sabbat of Witches
Primary Genre: Other fiction Word Count: 1,335 Beta Readers: 0Just tell me what you think about it
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HFMCD
Primary Genre: Romance Word Count: 47,000 Beta Readers: 0Detective Abigail Hennessy thought she'd seen it all after receiving her detective's badge. But when a woman is found strangled beneath Silver Springs clock tower --- marked with a single word scrawled across her forehead --- Abigail's first case as lead detective spirals into something far more sinister. The killer...
See full descriptionDetective Abigail Hennessy thought she'd seen it all after receiving her detective's badge. But when a woman is found strangled beneath Silver Springs clock tower --- marked with a single word scrawled across her forehead --- Abigail's first case as lead detective spirals into something far more sinister. The killer isn't just leaving bodies. He's leaving messages. Biblical verses. Coordinates. And photographs of Abigail herself.
As the investigation deepens, Abigail discovers a chilling pattern: every victim looks like her. Every message feels personal. And every step closer to the truth drags her deeper into a twisted game of obsession and vengeance.
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Half Of Me
Primary Genre: Fantasy Word Count: 29,333 Beta Readers: 0A portal/Adventure fantasy with family and romantic subplots. I would like feed back on worldbuilding: are there any important details that have been missed out, not explained or don't make sense? Same for characters and plot. Characters: are they individual but consistent? do they have clear agency and goals? hows...
See full descriptionA portal/Adventure fantasy with family and romantic subplots. I would like feed back on worldbuilding: are there any important details that have been missed out, not explained or don't make sense? Same for characters and plot. Characters: are they individual but consistent? do they have clear agency and goals? hows their voice in dialogue, is it flat or the same as other character voices? how could this be improved on? The hate to love romance: I know myself which bits I think need to be rewritten, but I'd like some feedback and opinions on how to make Lagan and Nausicaa have a meaningful meet-hate, and a full and satisfying hate to love romance that hits all necessary points and doesn't skip the mid point friendship. Also how can I advance the romance while the characters are navigating the main plot? Research: are there any aspects I've included that obviously need research? I'll give you the first one: archery and weapon lingo.
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Mt Mulvaney
Primary Genre: Realistic fiction Word Count: 25,073 Beta Readers: 3General Structural feedback:
- Does it flow?
- Is the pacing too fast, too slow?
- Are there any plot holes -
Concrete Warriors 2023
Primary Genre: Realistic fiction Word Count: 32,586 Beta Readers: 1General Structural feedback
- Does it flow?
- Is the pacing too fast, too slow?
- Are there any plot holes -
Cryoshell Beta Copy
Primary Genre: Science fiction Word Count: 154,529 Beta Readers: 0Everything changed when they invaded.
Captured and imprisoned in a desolate scrapyard known as the Graveyard, Kira spent fourteen years scavenging for freedom in their cruel game. Calculating every move, she clawed her way to the top—until it all fell apart.
When she awoke, she found herself in an unfamiliar...
See full descriptionEverything changed when they invaded.
Captured and imprisoned in a desolate scrapyard known as the Graveyard, Kira spent fourteen years scavenging for freedom in their cruel game. Calculating every move, she clawed her way to the top—until it all fell apart.
When she awoke, she found herself in an unfamiliar environment, rescued by a mysterious man who seemed to know more about her past than she did. As she navigated this altered universe, the truth of her transformation and the changes in the galaxy began to unravel.
With everyone in the galaxy hunting her down, Kira must uncover why she is the most wanted fugitive. Her only hope is to find her brother, if he survived that fateful day.
In a galaxy where trust is scarce and danger is always prevalent, will Kira uncover the truth before it’s too late?
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Chrysalis and Whips: The Caterpillar
Primary Genre: Romance Word Count: 47,856 Beta Readers: 2Content warning: abuse, language, stalking, homophobia
Falena Abate is researching the BDSM community for her doctoral thesis. She in introduced to Vergil Takahashi by the owner of the local fetish club, Lady Ivy. The more she learns about the BDSM community with Vergil’s guiding hand the more fascinated she is...
See full descriptionContent warning: abuse, language, stalking, homophobia
Falena Abate is researching the BDSM community for her doctoral thesis. She in introduced to Vergil Takahashi by the owner of the local fetish club, Lady Ivy. The more she learns about the BDSM community with Vergil’s guiding hand the more fascinated she is both by it and by him. The more time she spends in the community the more she learns about herself. But will her past get in the way of her future?
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Arrival
Primary Genre: Realistic fiction Word Count: 1,237 Beta Readers: 1Hi fellow writer! This is the first chapter of my literary thriller. It introduces Ian Page, my hero, arriving in Hong Kong after leaving family in Chicago on Christmas day. I'd love any feedback. No need to pull punches.
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Secrets and the Sand
Primary Genre: Science fiction Word Count: 2,123 Beta Readers: 0Give me any kind of details that you find.