Beta Documents Looking for Readers

• The strong female alpha

  Primary Genre: Other fiction Word Count: 9,758 Beta Readers: 1

  I would appreciate help with spelling and grammar mostly

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• When the Ocean Calls

  Primary Genre: Fantasy Word Count: 67,000 Beta Readers: 0

  Summary: Kiara Vatelle's love of the ocean brought her to The Bahamas for her senior trip. It was her dream vacation - four weeks of sun, sand, and quality time with her sister. Only one thing could foil her vacation, and that was the ocean itself.
  Kiara finds herself in...

  Summary: Kiara Vatelle's love of the ocean brought her to The Bahamas for her senior trip. It was her dream vacation - four weeks of sun, sand, and quality time with her sister. Only one thing could foil her vacation, and that was the ocean itself.
  Kiara finds herself in the underwater world of Oamer, filled with mermaids and mermen. After almost drowning, Kiara is forced to stay with them until she is well enough to start her journey home. From the ancient Kingdom of Oamer, to the hide-out of Pisces and Nereids, to a cursed Island, and finally the Gemini on Tocona Isla, the odds seem to be against Kiara. But perhaps it was fate that sent her on this journey. For Kiara must learn lessons in trust and self-confidence before she can finally go home.
  A tale of mischievous mermaids, astrological guardians, a bossy dragon, and a long journey of self-discovery.

  This is a contemporary fantasy-adventure novel, second draft. I think there may be some prose-level issues as well as pacing and characterization, such as distinguishing between side characters. But I’m open to any sort of critiques that will improve my manuscript. I need brutally honest criticism at this point in my story. No need to go easy on me! I can’t do critique exchanges at this point as none of my devices are compatible with the app. If that is a deterrent, I understand. But I figured there was no harm in trying here for beta readers :)

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• Rising Light/Dying Night

  Primary Genre: Fantasy Word Count: 95,631 Beta Readers: 2

  Two twin boys seeking freedom from their past, struggle to outrun the darkness of their mysterious origins. Can they overcome the darkness in this coming of age journey?
  ***Hello! I am open to any form of feedback. I would describe my book as a dark fantasy with heavy elements of...

  Two twin boys seeking freedom from their past, struggle to outrun the darkness of their mysterious origins. Can they overcome the darkness in this coming of age journey?
  ***Hello! I am open to any form of feedback. I would describe my book as a dark fantasy with heavy elements of science fiction. I am a newer writer and am open to guidance and constructive criticism. Primarily, I am looking to know if my story flows well and makes sense. If my characters are easy to connect with. I have concerns about my ending as about my over all prose. I am not too concerned with grammar at this time. Thank for your time.

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• Brothers' Curse: Facing the Briars

  Primary Genre: Fantasy Word Count: 103,000 Beta Readers: 0

  Crown Prince Terrance wants nothing more than to cure his youngest brother, Tobias, of a curse cast by a legendary faery. The problem is: the faery is hidden behind an impenetrable wall of briars. The other problem is: Terrance is scared out of his mind. He can't do anything right....

  Crown Prince Terrance wants nothing more than to cure his youngest brother, Tobias, of a curse cast by a legendary faery. The problem is: the faery is hidden behind an impenetrable wall of briars. The other problem is: Terrance is scared out of his mind. He can't do anything right. He can't lead archers. He can't lead his brothers. He can't even stop a prophet from using an illegal power and making Tobias' curse worse.

  But he can strategize.

  When Terrance discovers there's more to Tobias' curse than what the princes previous thought, he and his brothers defy their father to recruit the very prophet that threatened to reveal their secret curse. They make a bargain: the princes will listen to her prophecies, and she will use her power to break Tobias' curse for good. If they fail, it would mean war with their neighboring country. They only wonder if her power will be great enough.

  I'm looking for feedback on structure and readability. What makes you want o read and what makes you disinterested? Anything would be helpful :)

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• Hunter (Chapter 1-3)

  Primary Genre: Fantasy Word Count: 4,606 Beta Readers: 0

  A dark fantasy romance retelling of little red riding hood.
  Little red riding hood ain't little no more. Elise Drayton is now fully grow and is now one of the Empire's top Hunter, along side her sisters Emma and Vivian, they specializes in hunting and killing of any infected lycans...

  A dark fantasy romance retelling of little red riding hood.
  Little red riding hood ain't little no more. Elise Drayton is now fully grow and is now one of the Empire's top Hunter, along side her sisters Emma and Vivian, they specializes in hunting and killing of any infected lycans that ventures to close to the Empire's borderline. As of right now though they took a break from their usual routines and decided to help with this years new Hunter recruits final exams in the norther mountains. But something went wrong during their the exams. Infected lycans!? How? The barriers should have kept them away!
  (Please bare with some of the names. I'm still thinking of better ones. Thank you.)

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• Fire of the Forebears

  Primary Genre: Fantasy Word Count: 170,000 Beta Readers: 0

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  Fires of hope reflect in bared fangs and sharpened steel.

  ***Hey everybody, I know this might be a long shot with my wordcount, but I just learned about this app on Jenna Moreci's channel and I'm so excited to find a new group of beta readers! What I think...

  .
  Fires of hope reflect in bared fangs and sharpened steel.

  ***Hey everybody, I know this might be a long shot with my wordcount, but I just learned about this app on Jenna Moreci's channel and I'm so excited to find a new group of beta readers! What I think I'm offering is a story ready to start the self-publishing process. I'd love any and all feedback, and especially your thoughts from a reader's perspective.***

  Kura’s family awaits the return of a prophesied savior, but she believes in surer things: the sword in her hand, and her role as a secret rebel informant. A deserter’s daughter, she’s spent her life on the lam, fighting to survive in the Wynshire Waste—a desolate forest renounced by human civilization and overrun with talking animals. She sees the king’s demise as their means to safer territories, until soldiers catch wind of her sedition and condemn her family to death.

  Triston, crown prince, is a loyal soldier under his king’s command—an onerous job. The people have never been content with his father’s regime, and the ongoing draft furthers their resentment. Seeking to quell unrest, Triston joins his mentor on an expedition to rid the Waste of its derelict refugees and end the rebellion for good. He intends only to arrest and prosecute, but this attempt at compromise still leads to bloodshed, that of his men.

  To save her family, Kura crosses and befriends centaurs, rebel factions, and devotees of ancient, elemental magic—as, thanks to her stolen sword, they mistake her for that prophesied savior. Triston dutifully pursues Kura, the rebel who escaped him, but remains lost between his father’s guidance and his mentor’s advice. To follow one is to deny the other, and both require he betray himself. As their paths collide, Kura struggles with whether she should live a lie and fulfill a prophecy she doesn’t believe in, while Triston strives to prevent a war where both sides hold his sympathies—and want his head.

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• Canticles Of Hart and Hound -Prologue (3rd Draft)

  Primary Genre: Fantasy Word Count: 4,900 Beta Readers: 1

  Two hundred years have passed since the Last Wars. The humans of the small island of Alt Insel have placed the elven lords of Adleveld beneath their heel and taken their green lands for their own gain. Skirmishes continue to rage along the unmapped Frontier, but the rebel forces have...

  Two hundred years have passed since the Last Wars. The humans of the small island of Alt Insel have placed the elven lords of Adleveld beneath their heel and taken their green lands for their own gain. Skirmishes continue to rage along the unmapped Frontier, but the rebel forces have found little success in pushing back the righteous forces of the Goddess Hollee and Her Good Fellows.
  Johanna Schafer, raised by her father’s fearful hand in a backwater town, will travel to the city to join a mysterious organization known as the ‘Nachtigallen’.
  Sworn to protect the burgeoning towns in the primeval wilderness, the Nachtigallen are sent to silence ancient relics that have been abandoned by their elven masters.

  (Gothic Fantasy/Horror)

  What I’m looking for feedback on:
  -Overall story (Are you interested in seeing more/Is the concept easy to follow?)
  -Characters
  -Writing/tone

  All constructive criticism is welcome, just wanting to get some eyes on this! Thank you.

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• Origin and Earth (Full)

  Primary Genre: Science fiction Word Count: 140,000 Beta Readers: 0

  Series title is The Orris Project, this is the first book, Origin and Earth. The story follows the protagonist, Garrett Rhodes, who is an Envoy for the long-dead planet Osa. His is tasked with sending volunteers from five planets to an Intergalactic ship called Orris. The story follows his time...

  Series title is The Orris Project, this is the first book, Origin and Earth. The story follows the protagonist, Garrett Rhodes, who is an Envoy for the long-dead planet Osa. His is tasked with sending volunteers from five planets to an Intergalactic ship called Orris. The story follows his time on Earth, his fifth planet, as well as his Origin on Osa.
  I'm looking for general feedback. I'm about to send this version to an editor to clean up the writing. This is my first novel, but I have already written the rough draft for book two.

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• 1000 nights to freedom part 2

  Primary Genre: Fantasy Word Count: 16,000 Beta Readers: 1

  chapter 8 to chapter 15

  this follows the Selati Clan at the beginning of their formation as they put their heads together to uncover the secrets of the imperial city and rebellion. however, they get tangled up in unexpected circumstance that put a halt to them attaining their freedom.

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• The Highest Bounty: A Starfinder Story

  Primary Genre: Science fiction Word Count: 13,700 Beta Readers: 2

  This is an ongoing story and I want feedback on how it comes off to readers so far. I'd like to see if it catches your attention, where if it does, and anyway I can improve it. This is a passion project of mine, so I want to make it...

  This is an ongoing story and I want feedback on how it comes off to readers so far. I'd like to see if it catches your attention, where if it does, and anyway I can improve it. This is a passion project of mine, so I want to make it the best possible.
  Thank you and happy reading!

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