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Beta Documents Looking for Readers
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The Sequencing of Peter Yzordski
Primary Genre: Crime/detective Word Count: 72,000 Beta Readers: 0This is my first novel. Would like general advice and guidance. Wondering if there is a future for me as a writer.
Synopsis:
Everything is planned for; Peter will become a computer programmer and live out his life coding, just like the state says. But when the time for job...See full descriptionThis is my first novel. Would like general advice and guidance. Wondering if there is a future for me as a writer.
Synopsis:
Everything is planned for; Peter will become a computer programmer and live out his life coding, just like the state says. But when the time for job selection comes, he secretly changes his occupation to work in the State Security Services. He gets the life he always wanted; a meaningful career serving the state against their enemy known as Astraea.
Unfortunately, the innocent, naive, and good-natured Peter finds out government work is filled with horrific duties. Saddened and regretful about his findings he eventually gets another chance at happiness when, for an unknown reason, he is invited into Qayin, where the rich and powerful live.
After moving into Qayin he finds out the horrible price to pay to live there and has a struggle within himself to do the right thing. A plan to expose the society leads to one question: is it worth dying for? But Peter finds out there are worse things than death. -
The Manyaxi
Primary Genre: Fantasy Word Count: 90,000 Beta Readers: 4Iona is a 15-year-old with a genetic flaw she is unaware about, however, this prompts her domineering mother to restrict her freedom. She longs for it, and is starting to feel resentful about the restrictions. Her mother hired a coach to cure her of that mysterious flaw, but the man...
See full descriptionIona is a 15-year-old with a genetic flaw she is unaware about, however, this prompts her domineering mother to restrict her freedom. She longs for it, and is starting to feel resentful about the restrictions. Her mother hired a coach to cure her of that mysterious flaw, but the man turns out to have another agenda of his own. He grooms her for his own ends and instead of a cure, takes advantage of her nature. Used and abused, Iona takes matter in her own hand.
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The Shaft
Primary Genre: Tall tale Word Count: 157,000 Beta Readers: 1When young couple Trey and Lauren bought their ground floor apartment in an old converted manor house in Derbyshire, the large cellar that came with it was a bonus. Or at least that was what they thought. Instead, what they found in the cellar would soon lead them to a...
See full descriptionWhen young couple Trey and Lauren bought their ground floor apartment in an old converted manor house in Derbyshire, the large cellar that came with it was a bonus. Or at least that was what they thought. Instead, what they found in the cellar would soon lead them to a terrifying adventure, resulting in them being suspected of a series of unexplained deaths. As they try to withstand scrutiny from the police as well as a secret Home Office team, they have to also wrestle with their own consciences. If the only way to save your loved one from a life in jail is to kill someone, would you do it?
There shouldn't be many typos or grammatical issues as I'm a bit of a perfectionist, so I'd love people just to read the story, hopefully enjoy it, and feed back what they thought. Were there any plot holes, did the characters come across, was there anything you didn't like or thought could be better explained etc. Not quite sure what genre to put it in, would like help on that too!
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Chapter 1. Blood, Death & Kidnap in Mexico
Primary Genre: Fantasy Word Count: 1,306 Beta Readers: 4Our heroes are in Aztec Mexico where they are leading a rebellion to capture the city of Tlacopan.
Looking for general edit tips.
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Lady of Death Finished
Primary Genre: Fantasy Word Count: 98,500 Beta Readers: 0I would like to know if the story is enjoyable not so much grammatical. If it makes sense as much as an urban fantasy can. No plotholes. She is an assassin so she's no saint but I want her to be relatable.
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The Groundworld Heroes
Primary Genre: Fantasy Word Count: 24,500 Beta Readers: 0Benjamin is a mole living the good life in Soiland, an underground kingdom of animals, until humans attack. When President Mr. Hare orders the Mole Digger Team to dig a subway that connects to a world created by their ancestors decades ago, Benjamin joins in the digging and finds a...
See full descriptionBenjamin is a mole living the good life in Soiland, an underground kingdom of animals, until humans attack. When President Mr. Hare orders the Mole Digger Team to dig a subway that connects to a world created by their ancestors decades ago, Benjamin joins in the digging and finds a dragonfly fossil. He sneaks off to a laboratory to examine the worth of the treasure, and on his way back, he saves a meerkat named Conner. The two find themselves left behind at the empty evacuation zone. Now Benjamin and Conner must embark on a journey to find the tunnel where the animals of Soiland are in despite the humans lurking around every corner or else they'll be caught and traded away for treasures.
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She Sings at Dawn
Primary Genre: Fantasy Word Count: 92,000 Beta Readers: 2Dead royals. Forgotten heir. Nosy Princess.
The conviction and ensuing punishment by death of her step-sister, Princess Odeia, always perplexed Princess Aylo. The heir to the crown had nothing to gain by murdering Aylo’s mother, the Queen of Saursi. Four years later, Aylo’s suspicions are reawakened from an unexpected discovery:...
See full descriptionDead royals. Forgotten heir. Nosy Princess.
The conviction and ensuing punishment by death of her step-sister, Princess Odeia, always perplexed Princess Aylo. The heir to the crown had nothing to gain by murdering Aylo’s mother, the Queen of Saursi. Four years later, Aylo’s suspicions are reawakened from an unexpected discovery: Odeia’s journals. And when another death turns up the night after a kingdom festival, Aylo wonders if it’s connected to those from years ago.
That fateful night, everything changes. Though new piles of duties and a covert match-maker intrude on her agenda, Aylo digs into the past. Deadly secrets unfold, enough to put a target on her back. Aylo must discover the truth before the murderer strikes again or she’s whisked into a betrothal.
I can not do a read for read exchange as my device is not compatible with the app. But I am truly grateful to anyone who would willing read my book (even part of it) and give me some feedback! Right now, my biggest concerns are the mystery plot/ threads/ reveal, pacing, and the character arc of the MC. I have some ideas on future edits relating to Aylo’s character arc and the world building, so if you were to focus in one area, I’d say pinpointing plot and pacing edits. Any and all critiques are welcome, though!
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The novel about Christmas
Primary Genre: Fairy tale Word Count: -1 Beta Readers: 0the world was very beautiful the novel was all about Christmas the world was very cold the world was very sweet the world was very big the world was very enchanted the fairies were very beautiful
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Devils Among Us
Primary Genre: Gothic fiction Word Count: 106,129 Beta Readers: 4Kalandra's nearly perfect afterlife gets turned upside down with the sudden disappearance of her brood sister. Together, with her mate Alexander and some suspicious siblings, she must navigate what it means to be a vampire in the modern age and how she will survive in it.
If any additional edits...
See full descriptionKalandra's nearly perfect afterlife gets turned upside down with the sudden disappearance of her brood sister. Together, with her mate Alexander and some suspicious siblings, she must navigate what it means to be a vampire in the modern age and how she will survive in it.
If any additional edits need to be made, if the ending works or needs to be reworked/rewritten and what you like about it
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Dead After Dark
Primary Genre: Other fiction Word Count: 40,613 Beta Readers: 0Paige is headstrong, loyal, and compassionate, and has fallen completely and irrevocably in love with Adrian through a passionate, soul-shaking bond and mating ceremony.
Adrian is a dangerously sexy vampire-shifter hybrid dedicated to loving and protecting both his mate and their unborn child.
They couldn’t ask for a better life,...See full descriptionPaige is headstrong, loyal, and compassionate, and has fallen completely and irrevocably in love with Adrian through a passionate, soul-shaking bond and mating ceremony.
Adrian is a dangerously sexy vampire-shifter hybrid dedicated to loving and protecting both his mate and their unborn child.
They couldn’t ask for a better life, except for being on the run from crooked cops and Paige’s desperate ex-boyfriend. Their picture perfect life together soon spirals out of control, threatening everything they hold sacred.
Trouble lurks around every corner when Paige and Adrian’s loyalties are tested, and their plans for a happily ever after are jeopardized by malevolent forces from their past.
With enemies all around them, will the two be ripped apart or will they beat the odds that continue to stack against them?