Beta Community
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Beta Documents Looking for Readers
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The Outskirt Wars C01
Primary Genre: Epic Word Count: 3,213 Beta Readers: 1Chapter Title: Conflicts of Conscience and Factions
In a savannah village at the edge of empire, a blind boy’s inner struggle may decide the fate of his isolated village.
Genre: Speculative fiction with magic and military-political intrigue.
In a mirror world shaped by alternate history and enduring empires, ten-year-old Nadir...
See full descriptionChapter Title: Conflicts of Conscience and Factions
In a savannah village at the edge of empire, a blind boy’s inner struggle may decide the fate of his isolated village.
Genre: Speculative fiction with magic and military-political intrigue.
In a mirror world shaped by alternate history and enduring empires, ten-year-old Nadir Al-Ahmadi sits blind beneath the light of Sol, unaware his life is about to change. Raised in the desert village of Mawtad, part of the Sehgán Empire, Nadir hears whispers of rebel factions and looming war. As tensions rise, his inner world—pulled between caution and recklessness—becomes as unstable as the world around him.
A mysterious gang known as the Blood Scythes draws near, and the sands shudder with what’s to come. In this opening chapter, we meet a protagonist whose loving uncle helps him face his first real test—a quiet step toward revolution, responsibility, and sacrifice.
It begins a character-driven epic of moral tension, cultural depth, and the slow unraveling of innocence in the shadow of imperial and gangland power.
Feedback List for Beta Readers:
Dear listener — thank you for experiencing Chapter One of The Swarmcaller Series, Book One: The Outskirt Wars. This is a slow-burn epic with strong emotional and thematic threads. We’d love your feedback on the following:Did the opening hook your attention?
Was the worldbuilding immersive and clear?
Was Nadir a compelling POV character? Did his blindness and inner voices feel authentic?
Were any parts slow, confusing, or hard to follow?
Did anything make you feel something—curiosity, dread, warmth, sadness?
Negative feedback is welcome and appreciated. Thank you for listening.
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Mt Mulvaney
Primary Genre: Realistic fiction Word Count: 25,073 Beta Readers: 2General Structural feedback:
- Does it flow?
- Is the pacing too fast, too slow?
- Are there any plot holes -
Concrete Warriors 2023
Primary Genre: Realistic fiction Word Count: 32,586 Beta Readers: 1General Structural feedback
- Does it flow?
- Is the pacing too fast, too slow?
- Are there any plot holes -
Forever in Your Debt - Romance story - Chap 1 - 5
Primary Genre: Romance Word Count: 5,500 Beta Readers: 0What do you think of the Intro? Is there enough detail? Is there enough emotion?
During the Meet Cute, is there enough conflict?
In the story so far, is there conflict between characters?
Are the motivations of each character clear?
Are their goals stated and reasonable?
Is there anything about...See full descriptionWhat do you think of the Intro? Is there enough detail? Is there enough emotion?
During the Meet Cute, is there enough conflict?
In the story so far, is there conflict between characters?
Are the motivations of each character clear?
Are their goals stated and reasonable?
Is there anything about the story you didn't like?
Would you like to continue reading the story? -
Cryoshell Beta Copy
Primary Genre: Science fiction Word Count: 154,529 Beta Readers: 0Everything changed when they invaded.
Captured and imprisoned in a desolate scrapyard known as the Graveyard, Kira spent fourteen years scavenging for freedom in their cruel game. Calculating every move, she clawed her way to the top—until it all fell apart.
When she awoke, she found herself in an unfamiliar...
See full descriptionEverything changed when they invaded.
Captured and imprisoned in a desolate scrapyard known as the Graveyard, Kira spent fourteen years scavenging for freedom in their cruel game. Calculating every move, she clawed her way to the top—until it all fell apart.
When she awoke, she found herself in an unfamiliar environment, rescued by a mysterious man who seemed to know more about her past than she did. As she navigated this altered universe, the truth of her transformation and the changes in the galaxy began to unravel.
With everyone in the galaxy hunting her down, Kira must uncover why she is the most wanted fugitive. Her only hope is to find her brother, if he survived that fateful day.
In a galaxy where trust is scarce and danger is always prevalent, will Kira uncover the truth before it’s too late?
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Chrysalis and Whips: The Caterpillar
Primary Genre: Romance Word Count: 47,856 Beta Readers: 0Content warning: abuse, language, stalking, homophobia
Falena Abate is researching the BDSM community for her doctoral thesis. She in introduced to Vergil Takahashi by the owner of the local fetish club, Lady Ivy. The more she learns about the BDSM community with Vergil’s guiding hand the more fascinated she is...
See full descriptionContent warning: abuse, language, stalking, homophobia
Falena Abate is researching the BDSM community for her doctoral thesis. She in introduced to Vergil Takahashi by the owner of the local fetish club, Lady Ivy. The more she learns about the BDSM community with Vergil’s guiding hand the more fascinated she is both by it and by him. The more time she spends in the community the more she learns about herself. But will her past get in the way of her future?
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Arrival
Primary Genre: Realistic fiction Word Count: 1,237 Beta Readers: 1Hi fellow writer! This is the first chapter of my literary thriller. It introduces Ian Page, my hero, arriving in Hong Kong after leaving family in Chicago on Christmas day. I'd love any feedback. No need to pull punches.
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Secrets and the Sand
Primary Genre: Science fiction Word Count: 2,123 Beta Readers: 0Give me any kind of details that you find.
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Lingering Shadows
Primary Genre: Suspense/thriller Word Count: 40,000 Beta Readers: 0Lucia Pierce killed her mother, or so she thought. She is racked with guilt and nightmares, and marked with scars that remind her of her sin every day.
Thirteen years later, in the wake of her father's death, Lucia takes ownership of the family home they left behind years ago...
See full descriptionLucia Pierce killed her mother, or so she thought. She is racked with guilt and nightmares, and marked with scars that remind her of her sin every day.
Thirteen years later, in the wake of her father's death, Lucia takes ownership of the family home they left behind years ago – traveling hundreds of miles to start a new life in an old house. She finds the property in a disastrous state, a result of both neglect over time and active destruction by any number of people.
With a massive job ahead of her, Lucia gets to work right away. Cleaning, sorting, and moving occupy nearly all of her time. As she sifts through what remains of her childhood, Lucia makes a discovery that hints at her mother’s leading dangerous double life and the long-held deadly grudge that remains over her own head.
Isaac Young finds himself caught in the crossfire as he attempts to be a good neighbor, helping Lucia to both rehabilitate the property and learn to let go of a past created for her by the adults in her life. Will Lucia be able to move forward and forgive herself, or will she double-down on loathing herself in light of what she’s learned about the most important person in her life?
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I am looking for mainly developmental and story feedback. What makes sense/doesn't make sense about the story, are there areas where it feels lacking or over done, etc. That said, I am open to any and all feedback as I continue to move forward with this project in hopes of finishing it up soon!
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Tangled Hearts
Primary Genre: Romance Word Count: 52,643 Beta Readers: 0I am looking for feedback on transition as the story progressions and the story overall.