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Beta Documents Looking for Readers

  • Maxarch (Chapter 1)

    Primary Genre: Fantasy Word Count: 3,300 Beta Readers: 1

    I'd like to know if it has a correct grammar, punctuations, and if the first chapter gives a hook for the readers.

  • Spira (tentative title)

    Primary Genre: Fantasy Word Count: 86,371 Beta Readers: 0

    When demons return to the Seven Kingdoms Spira--a ruthless killer and forgotten queen--must put her hatred for humans behind her and fight the will of Death to saver her friends and home, even if it means killing the love of her life.
    My novel is a young adult fantasy. I'm...

    When demons return to the Seven Kingdoms Spira--a ruthless killer and forgotten queen--must put her hatred for humans behind her and fight the will of Death to saver her friends and home, even if it means killing the love of her life.
    My novel is a young adult fantasy. I'm looking for constructive criticism about the story structure, characters, and overall language quality.
    Please excuse any grammatical errors--this is a draft.
    Thank you!

  • For better, for worse chapter 10

    Primary Genre: Realistic fiction Word Count: 2,000 Beta Readers: 0

    Any kind of feedback would be appreciated! Thank you.

  • The Favor of Adeni

    Primary Genre: Fantasy Word Count: 7,422 Beta Readers: 0

    (Mild Violence Warning) Viggo, a Tekula focused on staying with the traditions of their current leader, Jorah. The Tekula were a group of hunters who were given the gift to turn into a small Kula, a giant wolf-like creature from the East, by Adeni, the god of the hunt. Owaine,...

    (Mild Violence Warning) Viggo, a Tekula focused on staying with the traditions of their current leader, Jorah. The Tekula were a group of hunters who were given the gift to turn into a small Kula, a giant wolf-like creature from the East, by Adeni, the god of the hunt. Owaine, a younger Tekula on his way to becoming the next leader, begins asking Viggo to help him stop the Tekula from killing everything they see once he is in charge. He wants them to go back to how it was before Adeni’s gift was corrupted. As the story goes, Viggo must battle against his years of loyalty to his pack and leader, and challenge the notions he’s been taught since he was a child.

    This story continues and finishes in a separate piece. I'm open to pretty much any critiques you have. I'm also open to any suggestions on the description.

  • REDEMPTION EXPRESS (Chapter 1)

    Primary Genre: Other fiction Word Count: 450 Beta Readers: 1

    Redemption Express is a supernatural story about a man who wakes from a deep sleep. He knows his name is William, but has no idea where he is, or who he is. He appears to be trapped somewhere, completely alone, and with no obvious escape route. Will he be able...

    Redemption Express is a supernatural story about a man who wakes from a deep sleep. He knows his name is William, but has no idea where he is, or who he is. He appears to be trapped somewhere, completely alone, and with no obvious escape route. Will he be able to escape this crazy dilemma, before madness descends?

  • The Girl Made of Stars Who Needs Life to Survive

    Primary Genre: Romance Word Count: 60,000 Beta Readers: 2

    Summary: Adam is an eighteen year old high school senior, just a few weeks out from graduation. His sister Kaylee has been in a coma for over two years and his brother Beau is serving in an unknown location for the military. Worrying about the two of them has taken...

    Summary: Adam is an eighteen year old high school senior, just a few weeks out from graduation. His sister Kaylee has been in a coma for over two years and his brother Beau is serving in an unknown location for the military. Worrying about the two of them has taken an incredible toll on his mental health. Adam and his best friend Brayden love to hike. One day, on the two and a half year anniversary of the accident that put Kaylee in her coma, the two of them are swallowed by a portal which takes them to a planet called The Clock of the Divided. This planet is populated with elves who are in danger. The mineral that keeps them alive, called life, is in low supply. According to a millenia old legend, Adam and Brayden are the keys to restoring the supply. They are sent on a mission to restore the supply with a group of six elves, lead by Tavern, a curious, witty elf who's willing to put her life on the line for her planet. My story is told from Adam's perspective (while he writes an essay) as he falls in love, saves a planet, earns something to put his life on Earth back together, and sees his view of the universe change.

    Feedback: I suck at commas so there are probably commas in incorrect places. Just grammatical errors in general. There are some places that I list thoughts and I'm not sure I've done that correctly in terms of grammar, dialogue rules, etc. Verbs and filler words are some of my weaknesses. I'm not good at explaining things so there's a good chance that a lot of stuff makes no sense. I speak about suicide a little bit so trigger warning. I also don't consider myself qualified to write about suicide so if there's anything offensive or wrong, I will definitely change it. Other than those few things, I really just want to know everything that runs through your mind as your read; questions, likes, dislikes, when you laughed, when you cried, etc.

    I MADE THIS UP!! The only thing I didn't make up was the German words and the name of Adam's hometown.

  • Breezy CH 1

    Primary Genre: Magical realism Word Count: 4,046 Beta Readers: 0

    First chapter of an episodic LGBTQ series.

  • Prologue - The Traitor's Daughter

    Primary Genre: Fantasy Word Count: 2,500 Beta Readers: 4

    The Traitor's Daughter is a gritty medieval fantasy with elements of political intrigue, romance and magical realism thrown in. If you like multi-POV stories with strong female leads, ominous prophecies and character-driven plots - then this book is for you!

    I'm currently looking for beta readers for my prologue. I...

    The Traitor's Daughter is a gritty medieval fantasy with elements of political intrigue, romance and magical realism thrown in. If you like multi-POV stories with strong female leads, ominous prophecies and character-driven plots - then this book is for you!

    I'm currently looking for beta readers for my prologue. I am happy to critique the work of others in return, especially if they are writing within the fantasy or sci-fi genres.

    If you are interested in doing some beta reading for the rest of the novel, then please get in touch.

  • Heroes & Harbingers

    Primary Genre: Fantasy Word Count: 79,336 Beta Readers: 0

    Synopsis: A death harbinger with a heart of gold and a legendary Irish warrior doing community service are both teachers at a magnet public high school specializing in magic in Jacksonville, FL. When it turns out their student is this century's Chosen One, they have to work together to make...

    Synopsis: A death harbinger with a heart of gold and a legendary Irish warrior doing community service are both teachers at a magnet public high school specializing in magic in Jacksonville, FL. When it turns out their student is this century's Chosen One, they have to work together to make sure the destiny chosen for her by the Council of Pantheons isn't a death sentence.

    I'm looking for anything that could drag the plot beats or confuse a reader. Also want to get an idea of what demographics this would appeal to. This is a shorter SFF novel. I want it to be a nice fun read and wrote it specifically to appeal to teachers looking for a quick escape from reality, but now I'm wondering if this has come off too YA.

  • Boy of Light and Dust

    Primary Genre: Fantasy Word Count: 64,000 Beta Readers: 1

    Dayin Jackon had to escape his city, Riverton. He discovers that his parents were not who he thought they were and that even HE isn't who he thought he was.
    He learns that there are bad people looking for him and that if he wants to keep living his life...

    Dayin Jackon had to escape his city, Riverton. He discovers that his parents were not who he thought they were and that even HE isn't who he thought he was.
    He learns that there are bad people looking for him and that if he wants to keep living his life the way he wants to, he needs to learn to control his magic. And most importantly, run.

    I would really like feedback on the coherency of the novel as a whole, as well as where there are plotholes or things that don't seem to meet up as well as they should.